When I was asked to write an article on FSD, or Female Sexual Dysfunction, I hesitated, having not heard these acronyms used before to describe a very common syndrome-lack of interest in sexual activity among married women with children. Though wide spread and rampant, I resist in calling it a dysfunction. It is apparent to me that in our culture, especially today, many women with children simply do not have the energy and time to think about, much less devote to this human experience that in the past brought them so much pleasure, assisted them in securing their man, and was functional in giving them babies.
As a mother, wife, daughter, employee or perhaps a business owner, we as women do so much. We give so much. Sometimes too much, and yes, sometimes we get tired. There are, you should be happy to know, ways of correcting possible hormonal imbalances that may be contributing to your lack of libido or interest in sex.
Sexual energy, or Eros, is life force that permeates all of creation and is part of the joyfulness of creating life and living. It is one of the human experiences that cause us the greatest ecstasy and the greatest pain. Sexuality is profoundly connected to nature, sunshine, waves, aromas, festivals, celebrations, rituals and rhythms of the earth. At least it used to be. Many modern women in today’s society have detached themselves from earth’s pulses and find themselves rushing to fulfill less meaningful demands of modern living. Where sex was once necessary and functional, it for many, is now just one more thing that is expected of them.
Sexuality begins in the brain; and it has been shown that in order for a woman to be in the mood for sex, she must be free of mental stress and distraction and must be thinking of nothing else. Now be honest, since baby was born, when was the last time you were thinking of nothing except sex? Think about what a young man is taught when he has premature ejaculations, “think about baseball.” These thoughts will take the pressure out of his erogenous zones and slow him down in order to maintain his efforts to last for his woman’s pleasure. I would tend to recommend the practice of tantra yoga for controlling premature ejaculation. The principles are the same. When a woman is thinking of her to-do-list, romance is difficult to achieve.
Changes in our bodies’ natural hormones contribute to changes in our desire and interest in sex. After a baby is born a new mother’s hormones make her ripe and ready to nurse her baby due to increased prolactin in her blood. Her body needs to heal; and after giving so much of herself for nine months by growing and delivering a baby, a new mother will typically have less to give her husband at this time. A new father will need to have patience and understanding that his wife loves him no less, just biologically needs to give her life force to her new baby.
Once the babies/children are weaned, if the mother has properly cared for herself, her health, and her needs, her sexual vitality should return. In my practice and in real life, so often this isn’t the case. Women enter the real world too soon, taking or being given more than they can comfortably handle. Burn out and overwhelm are commonly replaced for nature, fun, love, relaxation, and sexual intimacy. Over time their life force, or chi, is simply exhausted.
Similarly during menopause, if the woman feels she has given too much of herself to everyone else during her child rearing years, she may; during menopause feel the need to regroup and rebuild herself sexually. What we believe about sexuality and menopause has a lot to do with our experience and expectations. Some women find freedom with menopause, no longer needing to fear pregnancy.
The quality of the marriage or relationship has a great deal to do with sexual compatibility and performance. One patient of mine, Mandy, went into spontaneous menopause when her lover left to care for aging parents. Her libido left with her menses. When he returned more than one year later, though her need for foreplay increased due to vaginal dryness, her romantic and physical desire returned.
In my practice I give both men and women tips on increasing vaginal lubrication as well as provide a variety of creams and vaginal suppositories that make intercourse more spontaneous and pleasurable.
It is not possible to achieve optimal health without a balanced hormonal system and there is no magic hormone or combination of hormones that can be indiscriminately used by all women. Each woman is an individual and correct hormonal balance must be the ultimate goal for all women.
Complete hormone testing is available so that hormone levels can be determined and customized natural hormone therapy can be provided. Bio-identical hormones are safe and effective when properly prescribed and the end result of having hormonal balance is the return to your youthful emotional, physical and sexual state of being.Also worth noting, is that every day in the U.S., 3,500 women enter menopause, which is defined as no menstrual cycle for 12 months. However, symptoms can begin as long as 15 years prior to menopause.
Treatment for lack of sex drive must be highly individualized. All hormone levels must be checked including testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, DHEA, and thyroid. Some women respond to natural estrogen replacement, others to progesterone cream. Others respond to increase rest and a return to healthy living.
Among the many symptoms of menopause are vaginal dryness, loss of libido, painful intercourse, change in normal vaginal flora, irritability, mood swings, depression, bloating, hair loss and excess heat symptoms.
Once the cause of the imbalance is identified, successful, non- toxic treatments including homeopathic remedies, acupuncture, nutritional and lifestyle support or herbal intervention as well as properly prescribed bio-identical hormones can bring about long lasting pleasure and sexual enjoyment.
Remember, sometimes, it is your life that needs balance. The result of which will create perfect hormonal balance and greater enjoyment in all areas of your life.
